like a true indonesian i am, my favorite beer is bintang. believe me no one hired me to be a buzzer. this is how i express my effort to promote local products before someone accuses me of being a liberal-minded, west-polluted, mcdonalds-lover ass. or better – a cia spy. god, please. (and before you sue me, yes, it’s not that local actually but what the hell okay? it spells b-i-n-t-a-n-g it’s what matters to me)
i drink socially. which is a lie because i posses no social life whatsoever. but it sounds less alcoholic than the usual i drink statement so let me delude myself and say i’m a social drinker. for any related definition, consult google.
but obviously, i’d call myself a cheap drinker.
i have to make it clear. i only drink beers. the most common and casual drink you can find in indonesia. though i normally won’t reject a nice bottle of cheap wine, a glass of rum and coke, bailey’s, xo, vodka and redbull, or anything strong enough to knock you out within seconds. honestly, i would also say that i’m an obsessed pu tao chee ciew drinker, but shit is so rare to get nowadays i’m depressed sometimes. where can i file my complaint to?
my first encounter with beers happened when i was six or seven years old. it was during new year’s eve and i and some cousins were playing monopoly. one thing led to another, someone opened a bottle of beer and i begged for a sip.
i think i whined long and hard enough that they poured me like less than half a glass of beer mixed with water.
it was so bitter i spat it out. but after a while, it was bearable and soon i played monopoly like a mafia boss. since then, i always got my glass of beer with water on every family gathering. until i was thirteen and big enough to handle my alcohol – or so they say.
if there’s a way to turn your child into a potential alcoholic adult, there’s no better way than this.
my family is a typical one. which means on every occasion, there’s one out of only three types of beers served. either bintang, anker, or guiness. i like the first and second. the last, not really. and when i grew up i found out why.
but as time goes by, i stick with bintang. not because it’s necessarily better than anker. but because only the elders in my family really drink anker and somehow i associate the brand with white hair, beer belly, and mustache. not the best image you want to keep in mind. especially if your goal is to be the most-instagrammed-obnoxious-hipster of 20xx.
later in life, i venture to other territories and occasionally try other types and brands of beers. if you don’t already know this, yes, there are different types of beers. just think of soto. they’re not really related and that was an awful analogy but at least i can say i tried. i myself prefer to recognize them by brands rather than pilsner, lager, or any other damned technicalities. when it comes to beers, i can only say : either wonderful, nice, drinkable, meh, or satan made this.
most beers i’ve tried fall into nice, drinkable, or meh. except corona. satan obviously made that. my advice, stay as far as possible from it, or keep a lime or two.
unfortunately, it’s getting harder to buy a bottle of beer in bandung nowadays. they used to sell them in supermarkets and you could easily snatch them after browsing for sanitary pads. but i also noticed that more bars, lounges, and beer gardens are flourishing here. which isn’t any much of a help for me because i find it to be such a hassle to go to those place to enjoy a nice chilled bottle of my favorite bintang. while of course i can drink them after a meal in a decent cafe or restaurant which costs me typically more than 20k for a tiny, tiny bottle. what a sorcery.
there’s also another type of alcohol i used to enjoy very much. it was my grandmother’s homemade rice wine. she used to make it for medicinal purpose and cooking and i remember having some when i was sick. it was sweet and instantly warmed me inside. i liked it very much i used to have a sip on rainy, cold days.
thankfully, so far, i’m not an alcoholic. yet. i can hardly say that i’m a drinker myself. like 5% b/v. please. forget the rum and coke. or the whisky. or…. no. irish coffee doesn’t count.
i’d also like to think myself as a considerate, responsible drinker. i don’t do dui – rule out the fact that i don’t drive – and i don’t want to cause trouble because i tend to be funnier when buzzed. i also hate hangovers. the last time i had it i wanted to split my head open and slit the girl next door’s throat because she blasted girls’ generation’s i got a boy the whole fucking day.
i have to take pride that i’ve never caused any problem drunk. maybe except on some occasions when i thought i was funny and i wasn’t, or when i sneaked some alcohol into a school study trip in high school and perhaps some people wondered why i was so fucking enthusiastic that day. i had it in my water bottle which i carried everywhere and when people asked i said it’s herbal drink. high school, peeps. oh. let it gooo.
the golden rule is; when you think you’re very hilarious spitting some racist jokes to your friends – you’ve had enough. say thank you and close the tab. and drink lots of water. fresh water. not coke. you’re bound to get diabetes.
at the end of the day, semua yang berlebihan itu tidak baik. someone told me that. just someone. your ex boyfriend is someone. your driver is someone. the girl with braces you secretly had a crush on in high school is someone.
but as an uncle told me on a new year’s celebration, this, pointing at a bottle of soda, will make you stupid. but this, pointing at a bottle of xo, will make you smart.
i hold it dear to my heart.
twenty not something 